


Coffee, Music, Chrismas, and War

by Clare_Hope



Category: Torchwood
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe- Coffee Shop, Alternate Universe- No Aliens, Christmas AU stuff, F/M, Idk exactly what to tag this as okay, M/M, Snow, Unnecessarily Festive
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-29
Updated: 2016-07-29
Packaged: 2018-07-27 10:50:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 16,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7615099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Clare_Hope/pseuds/Clare_Hope
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ex-American soldier Jack Harkness and coffee-shop owner Ianto Jones make an unusual couple, but they certainly make a couple. And not every Christmas is a dream. Some are closer to nightmares...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_ It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas… _ Jack Harkness whistled quietly as he sauntered down the Cardiff street. The air was chilly and the wind biting, but he was wrapped up tightly in his blue-grey military greatcoat and had his hands shoved deep in his pockets, so he was plenty warm...well, warm-ish. Most people had the common sense to stay indoors, but not Jack. No, he was determined to return to the coffeeshop every single day until he had succeeded in getting a date with the attractive young man behind the counter. 

The bell on the door rang softly as Jack entered the shop, which was, except for said attractive young man, empty. Jack was greeted by a gust of warm, coffee-scented air and a cheery call of, “Good morning, sir, the usual?” 

“Yes, please, Jones, Ianto Jones,” Jack answered. 

“Coffee, black, no sugar?” Ianto checked. 

“Aww, surely you know that by now?” pouted Jack. 

Ianto was unmoved. “Just doing my job, sir.” He smiled politely and turned around to set up the complicated coffee machine. Jack appreciated the rear view, too, especially when Ianto dropped something and had to bend over to retrieve it. The young man always wore an impeccable suit, sharply pressed and smart looking. Today, he looked especially fine with a light blue silk shirt and deep black coat, his tie neatly tied and arranged far straighter than Jack hoped that Ianto was. How Ianto could keep his clothing so clean in a coffeeshop was beyond him. 

Ianto turned back around with Jack’s order. “Here you are, sir,” he said with a smile. 

“Thank you very much,” Jack replied, paying him and then taking a sip of the steaming drink. “Ahh, you do make the best coffee in Cardiff.” 

“Just in Cardiff?” 

Jack widened his eyes in surprise. Ianto held an air of faint amusement about him as he finally responded to Jack’s flirting in kind. “I mean…” 

Ianto handed him a slip of paper, interrupting him. “Your receipt, sir.” 

Jack took it without looking at it. “Thank you very much.” 

“My pleasure.” Did Ianto just wink at him? Jack shook his head in disbelief as he walked out the door, the bell tinkling merrily behind him. He took another drink of his coffee to combat the sudden cold of the outdoors, and finally looked down at the receipt, wondering why he had only received one for the first time today from that shop. Then he realized. 

It wasn't a receipt. It was a phone number, scrawled in smooth blue ink with a neat hand. Jack grinned.  _ Finally.  _

 

Ianto spent the rest of his day occasionally making people drinks, but the shop was quiet and there were very few customers, so most of the time he hovered nervously over his phone. He really hoped that he had read Jack Harkness’s intentions correctly. Well, the man had been coming into his shop every morning for the past two weeks and had flirted ceaselessly the entire time, so there wasn't much room for interpretation of his actions. Ianto could tell that Jack was really hoping that he would be interested. And he was, he really was. Jack seemed nice, if a bit forward, and was certainly attractive. But Ianto was just getting over the unexpected death of his former girlfriend, Lisa Hallett, which had occurred four months ago, and wasn't sure that he was ready for another relationship so soon. 

His phone beeped, and he grabbed at it, turning it on. There was a text message waiting.  _ Hey, Jones, Ianto Jones,  _ it read.  _ Want to meet me for dinner tomorrow?  _ Then another text came through, just as Ianto had finished reading the last one.  _ We could go see a movie 1st, if u want. ;)  _

Hands trembling, Ianto hesitated to text back.  _ Aren't you supposed to wait a bit? Then he won't think I was waiting for him to text me. But if I wait too long, it might seem rude. Whatever.  _

“Sounds lovely,” he said out loud as he typed. “Where would you like to go?” He pressed send. 

A few seconds later, another text came through.  _ No, u can choose, I’m paying.  _

Ianto thought for a few seconds, then suggested a couple of places he knew had good, fairly inexpensive food and a nice atmosphere.  _ No movie, though, sorry, I’m working until 6.  _

_ That’s OK! I know that 2nd restaurant, sounds perfect. 7 OK?  _

_ 7’s perfect. Meet you there?  _

_ Meet u there! :)  _

Ianto tucked his phone away in his pocket, color rising to his cheeks. He hadn’t been on a date with someone new in so long, and nervousness and anticipation was rising in his stomach. He didn’t have long to dwell on it, though, because just then, the bell on the door rang and in came a large group of secondary school age kids, laughing and bundled up with scarves, hats, and jumpers. “Hello!” he greeted. “What can I make for you today?” 


	2. Chapter 2

Jack could barely sleep that night. He tossed and turned in his bed in his little flat, wishing he could fall asleep quicker to make the time go by faster. Sure, he’d been on plenty of casual dates recently, but somehow, Ianto Jones felt different. Special. Eventually, Jack drifted off, but his dreams were full of perfect, creamy skin, blue-grey eyes, and a nose that curved up delightfully up at the end, accompanied by the soft melody of his gorgeously Welsh accent. 

The next morning, Jack got dressed and went to work. As a veteran of the American-Iraqi war, sent home because of an injury and then asked if he wanted a position in Cardiff training some prospective soldiers in the UK, he didn’t necessarily  _ enjoy _ his work, but it needed to be done. He was working with four trainees in particular, all of whom aspired to eventually be assigned to a special ops team. Jack believed that all of them had what it took. Susie Costello was very sharp and good with weaponry, he had never met someone as incredible with technology and computers as Toshiko Sato, Owen Harper was definitely a good doctor and was working very hard to be a good soldier, and Gwen Cooper, his newest recruit, was strong, capable, and had a good heart and a lot of determination. Together, they made quite a remarkable team. 

But today, Jack was distracted, and they noticed. 

“Ooh, what’s got Jack all spacey?” Gwen asked her teammates on break. 

“Dunno, but his head’s in the clouds today,” Owen answered her. 

Jack poked his head into the room. “Hey, I may be distracted, but I can still hear you,” he informed them. They laughed, and he gave them all a pointed, mock-glare before walking away to let them gossip.

The day flew by, but the evening couldn’t come soon enough. Jack let his team go home early, around 5:30. He could hear them giggling behind him, teasing him and asking him if he was running off to some hot date, so he told them that yes, actually, he was, and they kind of shut up and let him go. 

He got dressed in his normal dark grey slacks, pale blue shirt, and suspenders, but changed his mind and exchanged it for a nicer shirt and a coat and tie. He still wore his greatcoat, though--he was never parted with it except for work. Then he combed his hair and looked at his watch.  _ Only 6:00 _ , he thought dismally, and passed the next twenty minutes or so playing a game on his phone before finally jumping up and rushing out of the flat nervously and calling a cab.  _ Should I bring flowers?  _ he thought anxiously.  _ Or would that be a bit much on a first date? A bit much,  _ he decided.  _ I am paying for dinner, after all.  _ Heart fluttering, he checked to make sure that he had his wallet with him. He did. 

Jack arrived at the restaurant and got a table. He asked for a bottle of wine and settled down. “I’m waiting for someone,” he told his server when asked if he was ready to order. She smiled and walked off. 

A few nervous minutes later, Jack spotted Ianto coming over, and stood up. He looked stunning in a red and charcoal grey suit, his hair combed neatly, and he was blushing nicely. 

“Hello, Jack,” Ianto said. 

“Hi.” Jack fumbled to pull Ianto’s chair out for him, and they both sat down. “How was your day?” 

“Busy,” Ianto answered. “It seems like the colder it gets, the more customers I get. And we’ve got some holiday specials with peppermint and the like. People wait all year for them, or so I’m told.” He poured himself a glass of wine from the bottle that was sat on the table and offered it to Jack. 

“Thank you.” The two men sipped their wine for a few moments. 

“So, what do you do?” Ianto asked. “You know about me.” 

“Well,” Jack began slowly. “I used to be in the military.” 

“Not the British one, I presume?” Ianto asked, referring to Jack’s American accent. 

“No, I fought in the war between the US and Iraq,” Jack said. Ianto nodded. “But I got sent home. Injury. Now I train special forces units here in Cardiff.” 

“That sounds like a lot of work,” Ianto said. 

“It is. But it’s worth it.” 

Their waitress came over to take their orders then. When she had left, they got back to their conversation. 

“If you don’t mind me asking, how did you get injured?” Ianto said hesitantly. 

Jack shrugged. “Got hurt,” was all he said, and Ianto didn’t ask further though he could tell that there was a hell of a lot more to it than that. “What about you?” Jack diverted. “What’s your story?” 

“Well, I’m from North Wales, but we moved South when I was about eleven,” Ianto said. “My mum and tad are both gone, but my sister Rhi and her husband Johnny and their two kids live just outside town. I opened my coffeeshop because that was what I always wanted to do as a kid.” 

“I’m from this tiny little peninsula on the East Coast of the United States,” Jack contributed. “My...my little brother and my dad both died when I was a kid, but my mom’s still alive. I’m not really in contact with her anymore, though.” 

“I’m sorry,” Ianto said quietly. 

“It’s fine,” Jack said, a little too brightly. Their food was brought out, and they spent the next few minutes eating and chatting.

“I have to tell you something,” Ianto said after a while, somberly. 

Jack looked at him warily, but nodded for him to continue. “I’m listening.” 

Ianto was fidgeting uncomfortably. “I was in a serious relationship not too long ago,” he confessed. 

Jack nodded. “Okay.” Ianto’s face indicated that there was more to the story. “Did he leave you?” he asked. 

“Well, no.” Ianto was quiet for a minute. “She died, actually. Four months ago.” 

Jack’s heart went out to him. “Oh, Ianto, I’m so sorry.” 

“It’s alright,” Ianto told him. He seemed to be waiting for Jack to say something else, but he didn’t know what to say. “Erm, aren’t you going to ask ‘she’?” 

“Oh!” Jack said. “Oh.” He still wasn’t quite sure what Ianto thought his problem would be. 

“I’m only bi,” Ianto elaborated. 

Jack frowned. “There’s no ‘only’ about being bi, it’s a full identity in and of itself.” 

A look of relief shone of Ianto’s face. “Oh, thank God. Most people I’ve tried to go on dates with have been upset that I wasn’t gay or straight enough.” 

“Well, you don’t have to worry about that with me,” Jack told him. “I’m omni. Well, pan is probably the term you’ve heard. So you’re in good company.” They both smiled at each other. “So...if you don’t mind me asking, how did she die?” he inquired. 

“A shooting. We thought she might make it for a little while, but...Her name was Lisa,” Ianto said. 

“A beautiful name.” Impulsively, Jack reached across the table and put his hand over Ianto’s. His hand was warm and shaking slightly, and he pulled away slightly before relaxing and squeezing Jack’s hand. They were quiet for a minute. 

“I’m at peace with it, though,” Ianto said at last. “I’ve grieved already, and I’m alright now. So…” He glanced down at the empty plates of their finished meals. “W-would you like to see me again?” 

A slow smile spread across Jack’s lips. “I’d love to,” he said honestly. 

“Dinner again? My treat next time. Actually, I can cook. Would you like to come over to my place instead of going out?” Ianto babbled. “I mean, if you want.” 

Jack squinted. “Will there be coffee?” 

“Jack!” Ianto laughed. “Sure, if that’s what you want.” 

“I couldn’t miss an opportunity to have some of Ianto Jones’ famous coffee!” Jack insisted. 

“Well, how could I say no?” 

“Next week?” Jack said. “Sooner?” 

“Next Tuesday evening?” Ianto suggested. It was Thursday then. “I can close shop early to cook.” 

“I look forward to it.” Jack paid for their meal and they stood up, exchanged goodnights, and went their separate ways.


	3. Chapter 3

That next Tuesday, Ianto closed shop at 4:30 so he had time to prepare the perfect meal for Jack. His heart thumped whenever he thought about the ex-soldier, and he chided himself for acting like a schoolkid with a crush. Jack had said he would be at Ianto’s flat at 6:30, and Ianto had given him directions. At a quarter past six, Ianto wondered if he should have gotten flowers or something for the table but, panicking slightly, realized that he didn’t have time. 

He had just finished setting the table out at 6:25 when there was a knock at the door. Ianto took a deep, shaky breath and went to open the door. 

“Sorry I’m a bit early, my clock’s slow,” was the first thing Jack said, but Ianto was distracted by the bouquet of pink and orange roses that he was holding. 

“You brought flowers!” he exclaimed.

Jack looked down at them. “Was I not supposed to?” he asked anxiously. 

“No, no, it’s fine!” Ianto hastened to reassure him. “Thank you! They’re beautiful.” He ushered Jack inside. “It’s a bit messy, sorry,” he felt the need to apologize. 

Jack looked around at the nearly immaculate front room that opened into a spotless kitchen. There were a couple of stacks of books lying around, which was what Ianto had been apologizing for. “It’s fine. It’s really nice, actually.” 

“Well, dinner’s ready, please, come sit down. Would you like to put your coat over this chair, or…” They continued exchanging niceties as they walked into the kitchen. As the evening progressed, they became more and more comfortable around each other, laughing and flirting. Jack was very fond of innuendo, Ianto noticed. Normally, that might make him a bit hesitant, but it honestly just made Jack more appealing. “It’s only eight,” Ianto said after they had finished eating. “Do you want to stay and watch a movie?” 

“Sure,” Jack agreed readily. 

“I’ll just go wash up the dishes, I’ll be right out. You can pick something, all my films are in those drawers over there, and they’re alphabetized, if you’re looking for anything in particular.” 

Jack raised an eyebrow. “You alphabetize your films?” 

Ianto tilted his head. “Don’t  _ you _ ?” he asked. Jack was about to laugh, but then he realized that Ianto was being serious. 

While Ianto was clearing up, Jack was rummaging through his collection of films. Suddenly, Ianto became worried that Jack wouldn’t find anything to watch. All he had were older films, classics, and Jack might not like any of them. But his fears were unfounded. “With the possibility of sounding a bit silly,” Jack called over to him in the kitchen, “what do you say to  _ The Sound of Music _ ?” 

“That’s just about my favorite musical of all time,” Ianto told him, thrilled. “You like it, too?” 

“Absolutely. I love seeing what the rest of the world was up to during World War Two. I’ve learned so much about the war itself, it’s nice to know that there were good people just living their lives still,” Jack gushed. “Plus, I mean, Julie Andrews.” 

Ianto laughed, drying his hands. He walked back into the living room. “She is something, isn’t she?” he agreed. “And what a voice!” 

“I sing,” Jack said casually. 

“I do, too, a bit,” Ianto said. “But I mean, I’m Welsh. We all sing.” 

Jack laughed. “Well, we can sing along, then?” 

“Absolutely.” Ianto felt happier than he had in a while at the prospect as he put the disc in and waited for it to start, settling down on the old, worn out couch next to Jack. 

_ “The hills are alive with the Sound of Music…”  _ sang Maria. 

“With songs they have sung, for a thousand years!” Jack sang quietly. Ianto looked at him in astonishment. From that one line, he could tell that Jack wasn’t lying when he said he could sing, and Ianto forgot about joining in as he just listened. As the final note trailed away and the bell rang for Maria to run back to the convent, Jack looked at Ianto disappointedly. “You didn’t join in,” he said. 

“You’re amazing,” Ianto told him. Was that a bit of color rising to Jack’s cheeks? “Besides, my song is ‘My Favorite Things’,” he added. Jack smiled. 

“I like that one, too.” Neither of them tried to sing “How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria”--it certainly wasn’t a song for a tenor and a baritone to attempt to harmonize. When “I Have Confidence” came along, with all of its enthusiasm and energy and Maria’s bouncing along with her bag and her guitar, Jack impulsively grabbed Ianto by the hands and pulled him to his feet. Startled, Ianto went along with it and they danced around the room spinning and singing along. Both felt a bit foolish when it ended and they flopped back onto the couch, but Jack’s voice had suited the large, belty number just fine. “You’re not so bad yourself,” Jack complimented. 

“I do not have a voice like you do.” Jack was about to argue, but Ianto shushed him. “They’re about to meet!” 

They didn’t try to dance again, but they did attempt a duet of “Sixteen, Going on Seventeen”, which was hilarious and ended up in them falling over each other with laughter. Jack let Ianto take over “My Favorite Things” and clapped when he had finished. Without realizing it, the distance between them when they had started watching had disappeared and they were now sitting with their arms around each other. “Do-Re-Mi” and “Climb Every Mountain” went over fairly uneventfully, but Ianto knew that “Something Good” was coming up soon. As soon as the scene began, he pulled his arm away from Jack’s shoulders. Jack was about to give him a hurt look when Ianto wrapped his arms around Jack’s waist and pulled him closer. Jack sighed softly and put his head down on Ianto’s shoulder. 

“But somewhere in my youth or childhood,” they sang quietly together, Jack and Ianto and Maria and the Captain. “I must have done something good.” As the characters on the screen began to kiss, Jack raised his head to press his lips against Ianto’s. Ianto closed his eyes and leaned into the kiss. They broke apart after a few moments, but stayed with their noses touching lightly. 

“That was nice,” Ianto breathed. 

“Wanna do it again?” 

“Hmm.” Ianto considered, but the movie was still going. “After?” 

“Sure.” But then they leaned into each other again, continuing to kiss as the wedding and the honeymoon and the concert continued to play in the background. Jack finally stopped kissing him to sing. “Eidelweiss, eidelweiss, every morning you greet me.” He went lower than he had before, and Ianto literally shivered at the beauty and power in his voice. 

“Bless my homeland forever,” he joined in at the last line. They sighed simultaneously as the song finished, and watched the rest in silence, Ianto’s head resting on Jack’s chest. Eventually the movie ended, the Von Trapp family safely away over the hills to Switzerland, and Ianto turned the television off with the remote, not wanting to get up. Jack was warm and smelled nice, and was holding Ianto close. Both were very comfortable where they were.  _ I think I’m in love _ , Ianto thought to himself suddenly. He didn’t know it, but Jack was thinking the very same thing. “I’ve got a Christmas party to go to next month,” Ianto said. “My sister’s throwing one and she invited me. Want to be my plus one?” 

Jack ran his fingers through Ianto’s hair. The young man sighed with pleasure. “I’d love to be your plus one, Jones, Ianto Jones.” 


	4. Chapter 4

The next few weeks passed very quickly for Jack, what with training his team and dates with Ianto, which were getting more frequent and, if it were possible, even more enjoyable. Jack was counting down the days until the Christmas party, which sounded like a lot of fun and would be the first time he met any of Ianto’s family. Coincidentally, the party fell on December 23rd, which, as Jack pointed out, was his and Ianto’s one month anniversary. Neither he nor Ianto put much stock by such things (“One month isn’t really important--after all, a month is just an arbitrary time construct made up by humans, but if you think about it, so is a year, because nothing is special about January 1st, there’s no reason why a year is supposed to start on that day,” Ianto rambled as Jack listened intently) and they agreed that they wouldn’t do anything special besides go to the party together. 

When the day arrived, Jack showed up at Ianto’s flat and they went together to Rhiannon and Johnny’s house in a cab. “And your sister and her husband are totally okay with us?” Jack made sure on the way. 

“Johnny doesn’t quite understand the concept of bisexuality,” Ianto told him. “It’s always, ‘Oh, finally gone gay completely, Ianto?’ or ‘Finally decided you’re straight, Ianto?’ But they haven’t got a problem with it. I’ve been out to my sister since I was in high school, and I told her I’m bringing a date, so…” 

Jack squeezed Ianto’s hand. “Well, I’m glad. Though if he makes those comments this time, I might have to do something about it.” 

Ianto laughed nervously. “You really don’t have to do that.” 

“Oh, yes, I do.” Jack rolled his thumb over the back of Ianto’s hand carefully, and didn’t say anything else. 

When they got to Rhi’s house, a lovely, brightly lit suburban home on a quiet street, though it certainly wasn’t in the nicest part of town, Jack and Ianto went up to the door hand in hand. Almost as soon as Ianto knocked, the door opened to reveal a grinning, larger man in a Christmas jumper. “Ianto!” he greeted loudly. “And you’ve brought a man! Thought you had finally settled as straight, eh?” 

Jack was about to snap back with a witty retort, but Ianto squeezed his hand tightly, telling him not to. “Nope, still bi, as always, Johnny,” Ianto told him dryly. 

“Ah, well, come on in! It’s cold out there.” Johnny ushered them in. “What’s your name, then?” 

“Jack Harkness,” Jack told him. “It’s nice to meet you.” He shook Johnny’s hand cordially. 

The house was warm and bright and homey, with a lot of people mulling about and drinking and laughing. Several kids were playing on the living room floor, and as Jack watched, two of them came rushing up to Ianto. 

“Uncle Ianto!” 

“Hey, Mica!” Ianto greeted, hugging the little girl. “Jack, this is Mica, and David, my niece and nephew. Dave, Mica, this is Jack.” 

“Hi, Jack!” they chorused, but then one of their friends called them back over to the living room and they left.

Cheerful Christmas music was playing loudly over some speakers, and Jack and Ianto talked to the people around them for a while, eating the snacks placed around the rooms and drinking eggnog and wine respectively. After a while, Jack began to gather that Ianto was getting a bit uncomfortable with so many people talking to him at once. He was always fine when taking a dozen orders from customers at his coffeeshop at once, but put in a social situation where there were more than one or two other people, and he started to get very tired very quickly, a true introvert. Ianto excused himself to go to the toilet, and Jack followed him after a minute. 

As he had expected, Ianto was not in the toilet but was sitting at the foot of the stairs, his head leaning against the wall. He was yawning. Jack sat down next to him. “Hey.” 

“Is it over yet?” Ianto said sleepily. 

Jack put his arm out, and Ianto fell against him. Jack held him tightly. “No, we’ve only been here for an hour and a half,” he reminded. “The party isn’t supposed to end for another three. I could say I wasn’t feeling well if you wanted to make a quick getaway,” he offered. 

“Nah.” Ianto yawned again and snuggled closer to Jack. “Might just sit here for a few more minutes, though.” 

“That’s fine,” Jack told him. “Take as long as you want. Honestly, the only thing anyone in there wants to talk to me about is my accent, so I’m in no rush.” 

“And they only want me to talk about you,” Ianto said. “We’re the only ‘gays’ at the party. Well, no, that’s not true. Mica’s got a friend who’s here with two mums. But they’re old news.” 

“Guess we’re just interesting, then?” Jack joked. 

“A topic of conversation,” Ianto agreed. “Not the most enjoyable part of the party to be.” 

Jack shrugged slightly. “Well, I don’t know. I don’t really mind. It’s kinda funny, actually. Everyone saying how cute we are together, and all I can think is ‘you don’t know the half of it!’” They laughed softly. Ianto closed his eyes, and Jack fell silent. 

Once Ianto had gathered his strength to return to the party after actually falling asleep for a few minutes, it was time for exchanging gifts, whoever had brought anyone anything. Mostly, it was just the kids giving each other little trinkets and trying to stick the bows on each other’s heads, shrieking and giggling the whole time, but some of the adults gave each other such thoughtful gifts as candles and picture frames. Seriously, there was an outrageous amount of candles and picture frames. Even Ianto got a picture frame, from Rhi, of their family and Ianto, probably taken on some holiday somewhere, as there was ocean in the background that wasn’t in Wales. 

“Greenscreen and a very long day at a photo studio,” Ianto murmured to Jack a little later. Jack laughed softly as Ianto continued, loudly enough for the rest of the people sitting around to hear, “Rhi insisted on taking them to send to distant family members to assure them that I was still alive and not lonely. Apparently, I needed reminding, as well.” 

Jack pressed a kiss to his temple. “Definitely still alive.” 

“And not lonely.” Ianto smiled at him, and kissed him. A collective “Awwww” rose up from the rest of the guests and they broke apart, Ianto flushing bright red and Jack grinning.

When the time came for all of the guests to go home, Ianto and Jack stayed until everyone else had gone, since Ianto was Rhi’s brother. David and Mica had gone to bed an hour ago, and Jack had made Ianto laugh by singing, “So long, farewell, auch wiedersehen, goodnight,” quietly into his ear. Finally, it was just Rhi, Johnny, Ianto, and Jack left sitting on the couches in the living room, the lights on the Christmas tree in the corner winking merrily. 

Rhi let out a sigh. “Well, that was lovely, wasn’t it?” 

“It was a wonderful party,” Jack agreed with her. “Thank you so much for having us.” 

“Well, we couldn’t very well not invite Ianto, could we?” Johnny laughed. “He’s family.” 

Rhi gave him a look. “And so are you, if you want to be,” she told Jack. 

Jack was touched. “Thank you.” He glanced over at Ianto, sitting quietly next to him. The young man had fallen asleep, his mouth open slightly, endearingly. “Well, as much as I’d love to stay and chat, it’ll have to be another time,” Jack said regretfully. “I’d better get him home. Ianto.” He nudged Ianto gently, who woke with a start. 

“Hmm?” 

“Time to go.” They said goodbye to Rhi and Johnny and headed out. Their cab stopped at Ianto’s flat first, because it was closer. Jack asked the driver to wait for a minute so he could walk Ianto to his door. “Goodnight,” he said softly, putting his arms around Ianto’s waist and pulling him in for a quick kiss. 

Ianto hesitated before going inside, despite the freezing night. As Jack was about to turn away back to the cab, he called out to him. “Actually,” he said, voice trembling a little. “W-would you like to...to stay the night?” 

Jack turned back towards him. “Jones, Ianto Jones, I would love to stay the night.” It was the first time Ianto had asked him, and Jack had been waiting for his lead. He waved to the cabbie to say nevermind, and she drove off, probably annoyed that she had waited there for a minute for nothing. They went inside, away from the cold, and soon they were very warm indeed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo, three more chapters, enjoy!


	5. Chapter 5

Ianto Jones woke up in someone’s arms for the first time in five months. His alarm clock was beeping, but he didn’t care. Jack stirred next to him, stretching and yawning. “Are you going to turn that off or should I?” he said sleepily.

“No, I got it.” Ianto rolled over, reaching for his bedside table, and pressed the button to turn off the alarm. He turned back over to face Jack, whose hair was mussed adorably and whose eyes were blurry with sleep. “Hey,” Ianto said.

“Hey.” Jack sat up, untangling himself from the sheets. “Nope, cold,” he said, immediately regretting that and re-burying himself under the covers and snuggling up close to Ianto’s warmth. “Hey, it’s Christmas Eve,” he realized. “Merry Christmas!”

“Happy Christmas!” Ianto replied. “I never did understand why Americans say ‘Merry’. They don’t say that for any other holidays.”

“I’m not even sure,” Jack confessed. “It just sounds better.”

Ianto squinted at him. “No, it doesn’t. Anyway, my shop’s closed for the next two days for Christmas. Do you have to go to work?”

“No, I gave them a week off.”

“A whole week!”

Jack shrugged. “Yeah, well, I basically make our schedule to be whatever I want it to be. And Tosh is happy because she can go visit her mom in Japan and Gwen can spend time with her boyfriend. Actually, they might be engaged, now. I think I saw a ring. Wonder if I’ll be invited to the wedding.”

“I’m sure you will be,” Ianto told him. “From what you’ve said, they really look up to you.”

“Did I tell you that Susie’s actually off working now somewhere? They won’t tell us where, but she’s in some special ops team.”

“That’s nice.” Ianto yawned.

“Hey, um, Ianto,” Jack began.

“What’s up?”

Jack put his head down on Ianto’s shoulder, and Ianto pulled him closer instinctively. “Did you...did you notice, was I dreaming at all last night?”

“I don’t think so,” Ianto said. “Or, at least, you never woke me up with any tossing and turning, and I’m a light sleeper. Why?”

“Well, I’ve had more than one person tell me that I’ve had nightmares since I got back from the war, but I can never remember in the morning.” Jack seemed hesitant to tell Ianto this. “But I haven’t stayed overnight with anyone for a few months, so I didn’t know if they were still happening.”

Ianto kissed the top of his head gently. “If I notice anything, I’ll tell you,” he murmured. “Okay?”

“So we’ll do this again?” Jack asked, almost shyly.

“Are you kidding? We should do this every night,” Ianto said, not even joking. “It was…”

“Amazing,” Jack finished for him. They laughed.

“Want to help me decorate my tree?” Ianto asked. “I’ve got an old fake tree and a hell of a lot of decorations to use and I haven’t gotten around to it yet.”

“I’ve never really been much for traditional Christmassy things,” Jack confessed. “Also, I don’t have any clothes with me…”

Ianto’s eyes widened. “Oh! Right. I’ll find you something.” He swung his legs out of bed, wincing when his bare feet touched the cold wooden floor. “I really need to get some sort of carpeting in here,” he lamented as he rummaged through his chest-of-drawers looking for something to wear and something for Jack. They weren’t too different in size, if Ianto could just find something with slightly broader shoulders… “Hideous Christmas jumpers okay?” he checked.

Jack laughed. “Actually, that sounds perf--whoa, you weren’t kidding, those are hideous,” he interrupted himself as Ianto handed him a thick navy-blue woolen jumper patterned with reindeer. “But it looks warm.”

“And some flannel sweatpants. We shouldn’t be leaving the house today, so that doesn’t matter.” Ianto’s jumper was dark red with a Christmas tree in white on the front and green on the back. “I can make some breakfast.”

Jack was getting dressed quickly. “I can help!”

Ianto raised his eyebrows. “Jack, last time you tried to help me make scrambled eggs for dinner, you burned them,” he reminded the enthusiastic man. “I didn’t even know that it was possible to burn scrambled eggs. Leave the cooking to me, okay?”

“Okay,” Jack said dejectedly.

“I’ll make some waffles, and I’ll put on the coffee.”

Jack brightened up at the mention of coffee. They ate breakfast, which was delicious, and then set up the tree. Or, well, they tried to set up the tree.

“Ahhh! Jack, it’s falling!” Ianto cried.

“I’ve got it, I’ve got it.” Jack held the toppling tree steady. “I’ll hold it, you finish putting the base on.”

“I think we were supposed to put the base together first,” Ianto moaned. “How did we even manage to mess up this badly?”

“It’s not that--” One of the branches fell off of the top, crashing down on top of Ianto’s head where he crouched at the base. He cried out. “Ianto!”

“Ouch,” Ianto grumbled. “You were about to say it’s not that bad, and so help me…”

Jack carefully leaned the tree against the wall. “Are you alright?”

 _I just had a bloody branch fall on my head, what do you think?_ Out loud, he said, “Yeah. Bloody hell, but that hurts.” He touched the top of his head gingerly. “Am I bleeding?”

“I don’t think so.” Jack hovered over him anxiously. Ianto looked up. The worried expression on Jack’s face was almost comical, and Ianto couldn’t help but laugh. “What?”

“You.” Ianto put his hand out for Jack to help him up. “How about we take a break from the tree?” he suggested.

“Okay,” Jack said, clearly relieved. “Wanna watch a Christmas movie?”

Ianto bit his lip, rubbing the top of his head, still not entirely convinced that he wasn’t bleeding. “I don’t actually have any,” he said sheepishly.

Jack’s mouth dropped open. “Ianto Jones!” Ianto shrugged apologetically. “Right, that’s it. We’re going to my place and we’re going to watch Christmas movies all day.”

That actually sounded like the best idea Ianto had heard in a long time. “Sure,” he agreed readily. Then-- “Are you sure I’m not bleeding?”

He wasn’t.

Ianto had only been to Jack’s flat a couple of times. It was tiny, not as neat as his, and always cold, but Ianto made sure to grab a couple of thick quilts and stuff them into a bag. As an afterthought, he also put in a change of clothing, just in case.

Jack’s front room was a rather sad looking affair, with a small, drooping couch and a tiny old TV. “You still have a VHS player?” Ianto noticed incredulously.

“Call me old-fashioned.” Jack winked.

Ianto was, without realizing it, tidying up the couch and the area around it. There were a lot of books and items of clothing just strewn carelessly around, and he found the TV remote that Jack was searching for tucked between the two cushions of the couch.

“Oh, that’s where that was,” Jack said, snatching the remote.

“So, what are we watching?”

While trying to clear the VHS player of dust, Jack made a gesture towards a couple of boxes he had pulled out from underneath the TV stand, also covered in dust. “Take your pick. Find something you haven’t seen before.”

“That won’t be hard,” Ianto muttered. “I never lived in a household where it was customary to watch Christmas movies.” He opened the top box, sneezing a little at the dust that rose up off it.

“I’m sorry,” Jack said, genuinely pitying him.

Ianto snorted. “Don’t be, we had plenty of other traditions.” He thought for a second. Actually, they didn’t. His father had never been one for Christmas, he would just keep drinking and yelling. And he hadn’t had a Christmas with Lisa, having met her in January and lost her in July. Had he really only known her for seven months? He forced himself to stop thinking about the past and kept looking through the box of old tapes. “You don’t watch these much, I presume?” he asked, referring to the dust.

“Nah, not anymore. Aha! It’s working.”

Ianto pulled one of the movies out. _It’s A Wonderful Life!_ it read. Ianto thought he had maybe heard people talking about it, but had never seen it. “What about this one?” he said. “It looks cute.”

Jack shot him a wary look. “Have you never seen it?”

“No,” Ianto said, wondering why Jack seemed so hesitant to watch it. Something called _It’s A Wonderful Life!_ couldn’t be sad, could it?

“Okay,” Jack said. “Here, give it.” He put it in the VHS player, tapped a few buttons, and led Ianto back towards the couch while it brought up a fuzzy image on the screen. Ianto and Jack buried themselves under the quilts that Ianto had made sure to bring and settled down to watch the movie.

 _I was wrong_ , Ianto thought, half an hour later. _I was so wrong_.

 

Soon enough, the movie was finished. As Jack quickly turned off the VHS player before the horrible static could begin and set it to rewind. He heard a sniff from next to him, and looked at Ianto warily. There were tears dripping down from the young man’s eyes. “Ohh,” he said softly. “That wasn’t what I was expecting.”

Jack gave him a gentle squeeze. “You okay there?”

Ianto sniffled again and cuddled closer to Jack. “Mmhmm.”

This was the first time that Jack had seen Ianto cry, and it was kind of cute, actually, that he could get so sappy over a movie. He kissed Ianto’s forehead affectionately, and was about to kiss his lips when the phone rang. “Oh, hold on, sorry, I’ve got to get that,” he apologized quickly, squirming out from underneath the pile of blankets, disappointed that he had to leave the nest of warmth just to answer to phone.

A few minutes later, he walked slowly back into the front room. Ianto had wiped away his tears and was sitting up, waiting for him. “Who was that?” he called.

Feeling stunned, Jack sat down on the couch. Ianto immediately sensed that something was wrong and came over to put his arm around Jack. Jack didn’t react.

“Jack, what’s wrong?”

“It...it’s Susie, the woman I trained, the one who was working for special ops,” Jack said numbly. “Sh-she, she’s dead.” He heard Ianto gasp and start saying how sorry he was, but now Jack was the one with tears in his eyes, and he buried his face in his hands and sobbed. Ianto’s hand rubbed Jack’s back comfortingly. “They said she killed herself,” he whispered. “She had only been gone for a week, wh-what could have happened to make her do that?”

“I don’t know,” Ianto murmured. “I’m so sorry, Jack.” Jack felt Ianto wrapping him in a hug, but just kept crying. It felt like his fault. He must not have taught her well enough, or told her what it was going to be like, and now she was dead. “Shh, it’s not your fault,” Ianto told him, and Jack realized that he must have been speaking out loud.

He took a couple of deep breaths, wiping his tears away harshly. But as he looked up and met Ianto’s concerned grey-blue eyes, he broke down again. It took several more minutes for him to pull it together, and he hated himself for how weak he felt for letting Ianto see him so vulnerable. “I’m fine,” he said finally, wiping away the rest of his tears angrily and avoiding meeting Ianto’s gaze. “Do you want some lunch?”

 

Ianto made himself and Jack sandwiches and tea from Jack’s tiny kitchen, while Jack sat at the table. What should have been a lovely day in had turned into a nightmare for poor Jack, and Ianto just did whatever he could to make Jack feel better. After they had eaten, Ianto suggested that they go back to his place and maybe finish assembling the tree. Jack seemed to be feeling a little better, or at least was a very good actor. Ianto didn’t doubt that it was a little bit of both, and Jack thought that finishing the tree was a great idea.

“Perfect,” Ianto proclaimed at last. The tree had been put together with no more accidents and now it was time to put on the lights and ornaments. Jack was untangling the strings of fairy lights, and was about to start wrapping it around the tree, starting from the top. “No, Jack you’ve got to start from the bottom!” Ianto chided.

“Why?”

“You just do. Here, see, you plug in the string of lights and then make sure that they’re turned off, and then…”

“Complete!” Jack exclaimed several minutes later. All of the lights and ornaments had been put up, and the tree glittered with the sheen of the many baubles. Ianto had insisted upon some candy canes, too, because he said that it made him less likely to eat the hundred or so that were in the flat if they were acting as decorations. “Now all we need is an angel or a star for the top.”

Ianto pulled out the final box from the suitcase that he had all of his Christmas decorations shoved inside for most of the year. “One silver star, coming up, and look! You can put one of the fairy light bulbs in it and it glows!”

Jack grinned. “Who gets to put it up?”

“I think you’re a bit taller, you should do it.”

“Am I?”

“I think you are.”

“I’m 6’3’’.”

“I’m 6’2’’ so you’re definitely taller,” Ianto confirmed. “Even if not by much.” Jack still had to stretch to reach the top of the tree, and Ianto bent over to plug the lights into the wall. Jack whistled appreciatively at the sight. Ianto sighed, but he was pleased that he was taking Jack’s mind away from Susie. He glanced at the clock. “It’s four-thirty, want to have some tea?”

“Do you have any hot chocolate?” queried Jack.

“I’m sure I can find some,” Ianto answered. They went into the kitchen and Ianto heated up some milk for the hot cocoa, found some really good chocolate, and went off to the pantry in search of an unopened package of marshmallows. When he returned, Jack had gotten quiet and Ianto could see that he was thinking about Susie again. “Milk’s hot,” Ianto observed.

“So are you,” Jack added, breaking out of his reverie to smirk at Ianto.

Ianto snorted. “Thanks.” He poured the milk into the mugs, which already had the chocolate powder in them. “How many marshmallows do you want?”

“Oh, no marshmallows for me, thanks.”

Ianto gave him an almost horrified look. “You don’t like marshmallows?”

Jack shrugged. “Not particularly.”

“Well, no accounting for taste,” Ianto muttered to himself, plunking about seven of the soft white sweets into his own mug. “Here you go, one cup of hot cocoa with no marshmallows.”

“Cheers.” Jack smiled. “You know, hot chocolate with some alcohol in it isn’t half bad.”

Ianto looked at him over the brim of his mug. “Really?” he asked incredulously, and then took a gulp of the beverage.

Jack nodded. “And then, you know, drunk carolling.”

Ianto almost choked on one of his marshmallows. “What?” he spluttered. “That’s not a thing.”

“Of course it is!” Jack defended.

“Maybe in America, but here in Wales, we’ve got this thing called decency. You might want to look it up,” Ianto teased.

“Ooh, harsh,” Jack conceded. “Okay, so no drunk carolling. What do you want to do this evening, then?”

Ianto bit his lower lip lewdly, and almost smiled when Jack focused on it, his eyes lighting up. “Hot cocoa first,” he whispered.

“Okay,” Jack whispered back. “And then…”

Raising one eyebrow, Ianto replied, “Then, it’s Christmas.”

 

Late that night, thoroughly exhausted, Jack held Ianto tightly, Ianto’s back pressed to his chest, curled up on the bed. “You’re incredible, Ianto,” he murmured. 

Ianto shifted and turned over to face Jack, a slight smile on his lips. “You’re not bad yourself,” he replied. Jack closed his eyes as Ianto traced his fingers down Jack’s arm and kissed him. “It’s almost midnight,” he said. The clock read 11:58. 

Jack kissed Ianto swiftly, holding him in in his arms and sitting them both up. He moved his lips down Ianto’s neck and towards his shoulder. Ianto shivered with pleasure, trailing his hands up and down Jack’s back. 11:59. “Hmmmm,” Jack sighed, and returned to kissing Ianto’s lips. 

“Move in with me,” Ianto whispered between kisses. 

“What?” 

“You heard me.” Ianto could barely believe that he was asking that this quickly, but he knew himself and he knew that he wanted this with Jack. “Move in with me?” 

Jack pressed their lips together again, harder this time, his tongue flickering over Ianto’s. “Okay,” he said. “I will.” 

Ianto looked at the clock just as it changed from 11:59 to 12:00. “Happy Christmas,” he said, leaning in for another kiss. 

“Happy Christmas,” returned Jack. “We forgot to light the tree.” 

“We did!” Ianto exclaimed. “Oh, dear. I suppose we got a bit distracted.” 

Jack laughed. “I suppose we did.” 

“Want to go do that now?” 

“I would love to go and light our Christmas tree, Jones, Ianto Jones.” 

Ianto sighed. “You’re never going to forget that I introduced myself to you like James Bond, are you?” 

“Never.” Jack adopted a bad, posh British accent. “Bond, James Bond,” he teased. Then and even worse Welsh accent-- “Jones, Ianto Jones.” 

Groaning, Ianto shoved him away playfully as they got up to go light the tree. “Never ever do that again,” he ordered. 

Jack made a face. “That bad?” 

“Yes,” Ianto told him truthfully. “Oh, damn, it’s freezing,” he complained. Jack pulled the quilt out of the disheveled pile of sheets on the bed and floor, wrapping it around both of them as they left the bedroom for the living room. “I’ll plug the wire in, and then you turn on the switch,” Ianto instructed. 

“Bossy,” Jack chastised. 

Ianto threw him a coy look. “Don’t pretend you don’t like it.” 

“Did I say I didn't like it?” Jack grinned. “Ready?” 

Ianto slipped out of the blanket so he could reach the plug, keenly aware of the cold air and Jack’s eyes on his skin. He ignored both and plugged the fairy lights in. “Your turn.” 

Jack reached for his hand. “Together.” 

They flipped the switch on the little box, and suddenly, their eyes were assailed with bright, flashing, blue and white lights. “Wrong setting!” Ianto exclaimed, fiddling with the switch until it settled in the middle of its track, where the lights stayed constant. Jack was rubbing his eyes to get rid of the spots dancing in front of them. 

“Why is that even an option?” he complained. 

“I have no idea,” Ianto replied, highly amused. They surveyed the beautiful tree, lit up and sparkling with a gently glowing silver star on top, the perfect picture of Christmas. “Let’s go back to bed.” 

But before he could take a single step, Jack swept him up in his arms, lifting him off the ground somehow easily, and kissed him warmly. “Merry Christmas.”

“To many more.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ;)


	6. Chapter 6

_ One Year Later _

 

“Jack! It’s snowing! It’s snowing!” Ianto cried excitedly, waking Jack up. 

“What?” he asked groggily, blinking. 

Ianto sprang onto the bed, making the springs creak and Jack bounce. The young man couldn’t keep a huge, silly grin off his face. “It’s snowing!” he repeated. “Really snowing, sticking and everything. It must have been snowing all night, there’s so much on the ground now.”

“Ianto, it’s…” Jack glanced at the clock. “It’s 5:30 in the morning, why the hell are you even awake?” 

“Because it’s snowing,” Ianto repeated patiently. 

Jack looked him up and down. “You’re already dressed!” he exclaimed. 

“I’ve been up for almost an hour,” explained Ianto. “Now get up! I’m going outside.” He dashed away. 

Slowly, Jack got up and strolled over to the window, adjusting his pajama shirt. He pulled the blinds up. It was still pretty dark outside the house, and their small front yard was covered in snow. He yawned, wishing that Ianto would have waited another couple hours before waking him, but it was Christmas, and Ianto always said that he loved white Christmases more than anything. Jack made a mental note to sing him the song “White Christmas” later, and walked out of the bedroom to the front door. Ianto was already outside, and as Jack opened the door to come out, Ianto started running towards him. 

Then, suddenly, Ianto slipped and fell down hard on a slippery patch of ice on their driveway. Without thinking, Jack rushed outside, his bare feet crunching the freezing snow. “Ianto, are you okay?” he asked anxiously. 

Ianto sat up slowly, breathing shallowly. “I think so,” he said shakily. Then his eyes fell on Jack’s feet, noticing that he wasn’t wearing shoes or socks, and that he was just in in pajamas. “Jack, you’re going to freeze!” 

Jack was uncomfortably cold and starting to shiver violently, but Ianto wasn’t standing up. “Are you hurt?” 

“No.” Ianto held out a hand and Jack helped him to his feet. “Now get inside!” 

Teeth chattering, Jack rushed inside. His feet were numb, as well as his nose and ears. Ianto was limping slightly, probably having twisted his ankle or something. “S-see, this is why you d-d-don’t go outside at f-five in the m-morning,” Jack stuttered, collapsing onto the nice blue couch that adorned their entrance room. 

“I’m sorry, I just wanted…” Ianto apologized, wrapping a fleece blanket around Jack, who had tucked his feet up underneath him. 

“It’s f-fine, but can we wait until respectable hours t-to go play in the snow?” Jack asked, his shivering growing less violent. 

“Yeah.” Ianto took off his coat, revealing a Christmas jumper underneath. 

Jack frowned at it. “Didn’t you wear that last year?” 

“Yep! And I’ve got the one you wore, too.” 

Jack groaned. The blue jumper had been horribly ugly and a little itchy, but he knew that Ianto was sentimental. So was he, if he was honest with himself. “Whatever. C’mere.” 

Ianto sat down next to him and snuggled under the blanket with him. They shared a long, lingering kiss. “Happy Christmas, Jack.” 

“Happy Christmas, Jones, Ianto Jones.” 

Ianto rolled his eyes. “I told you not to call me that.”

“Oops,” Jack grinned. “I’ll make it up to you.”

Ianto considered. “Play with me in the snow later for as long as I want?”

“I promise.”

“Good.” Ianto kissed him swiftly.

Jack could actually feel his feet again, and they were still freezing. “Could you go get my slippers, please?” he asked. 

“Sure. They’re on the floor in our room?” Ianto called as he stood up and walked off. 

“Yep!” Jack called. As soon as Ianto had gone, he scrambled to his feet, grabbed something off the kitchen table, and rushed over to the wall, hanging it on the nail he had conveniently placed there yesterday. 

“Here they are, Jack--Jack?” Ianto said, startled to see Jack standing up. 

“Hey, Ianto, could you just come over here for a second, please?” Jack requested, smiling innocently. Giving him a suspicious look, Ianto took a couple steps forward. “A little closer,” Jack coaxed. Ianto took another step forward, and Jack met him in the middle, turning him around and backing him up against the wall. 

“Jack, what are you--” 

“Look up,” Jack hinted. 

Ianto did. “Mistletoe?” he asked, spotting the sprig hanging above their heads. “Jack, if you wanted a kiss, you could have just asked.” 

“All in the Christmas spirit.” Jack leaned forwards, mouth slightly open, waiting for Ianto to do the same. 

“Actually, the origins of the Christmas traditions and mistletoe--” Ianto began. 

“Oh, shut up and kiss me,” Jack told him. Ianto obliged, both of their eyes closing as they enjoyed each other’s lips. 

“I did actually bring your slippers,” Ianto murmured after a minute. 

“I’m too busy to put them on.” 

“Oh yeah, busy?” 

“Busy kissing you, you idiot.” Suddenly, they were interrupted by a beeping sound from the bedroom. It was 6:00, and the alarm clock was going off. “Why is that even set for this early?” Jack complained, following Ianto into the bedroom to turn it off. 

“Because that’s when I have to get up normally, you know that,” Ianto told him. “The coffee-shop opens at 7:30.”

Jack pouted. “But it’s Christmas.” 

“Yeah, but it’s too much hassle to turn it off and reset it every time a day comes around when I don’t have to go to work.” Ianto sat down on the bed heavily. “Although, since I don’t have to go to work, and it is only 6:00...and we don’t have any plans all day…” 

Jack caught his drift. “And we are already in the bedroom.” 

“Exactly my thinking,” Ianto agreed. “Presents can wait.” 

Jack was about to make a snide comment, but Ianto’s reached up and grabbed the front of his shirt, pulling him down onto the bed and unbuttoning the shirt at the same time. “Presents can wait,” Jack agreed quickly. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmmmm this Christmas isn't over yet...still time for things to go wrong, isn't there? <3 ~Clare


	7. Chapter 7

Later, at what Jack would call the ‘more respectable time’ of 9:00, Ianto and Jack went back out into the living room, where their tree was set up with just a couple of gifts underneath it. Ianto knelt down next to the tree and pulled out the prettily wrapped presents. “There’s one for both of us from Rhi,” he began. “One to you from me, from me to you, one that seems to be addressed to, ahem, ‘Jack and his Mystery Lover’.” Ianto looked up at Jack with raised eyebrows. 

“I haven’t told Gwen, Toshiko, and Owen much about you,” Jack confessed. “Though we’ve been invited to Gwen’s wedding at last.” 

“Ahh,” Ianto realized. “My turn to be your plus one?” 

“Exactly what I was thinking.” 

Ianto looked back at the last two presents. “This one’s for me, from my mate Steven from school. I haven’t seen him in ages, but we still send each other cards and the like. And...I’m not sure where this one came from?” It was a brown wrapped package that looked like it had just come through the mail. “It’s got no return address, but it was on our doorstep this morning.” Ianto glanced up at Jack, who seemed to have gotten a little bit paler. “Jack?” Ianto asked, concerned. “What’s wrong?” 

Jack shook his head. “Let’s open the rest of them first,” was all he would say. 

Ianto just accepted it. Jack would tell him when he was ready, so he put the brown box aside and picked up the one from Steven. It was just a card, with a gift card inside to Ianto’s favorite place to purchase his own personal coffee beans. Next, Jack opened the one from his team. “How thoughtful,” Ianto said dryly, when Jack laughed and showed him the slightly ridiculous looking trophy that read “Number One Team Leader.” 

“Oh, wait, there’s something at the bottom!” Jack exclaimed. He pulled out a gift card to a fancy restaurant.  _ Enough for two _ , read the script on the card. 

“Wow, that’s actually very sweet,” Ianto remarked. 

“It is,” Jack agreed. “What did Rhi and Johnny send us?” 

Ianto tore through the packaging neatly, and opened the box to reveal a nice set of candles and a certificate for some hand towels at a posh local store. “That’s rather domestic,” Ianto observed. 

Jack laughed. “Should I open mine from you first, or vice versa?” 

“You first?” asked Ianto. 

“Sure.” Jack felt the package in his hands. “Is it a book?” 

“Just open it,” said Ianto, slightly embarrassed. 

Jack noticed him blushing, and smiled as he tore through the wrapping paper. Ianto watched his face carefully as he took out the book. It wasn’t just any book, though. Ianto had chosen it specifically and had thought it perfect. “ _ The Story of the Trapp Family Singers _ ,” Jack read. “ _ By Maria Von Trapp _ .” He looked up at Ianto. 

“You told me once that you prefered the stories of real people during World War Two as opposed to the story of the war itself,” Ianto explained. “And while the movie will always be my favorite, apparently the book, written by Maria herself, is far more accurate.” Ianto shrugged. “It’s not huge, but…” 

Jack had tears in his eyes. “Open yours,” he whispered. 

Startled by Jack’s reaction, Ianto did as he had asked, and had to laugh when he saw what was inside the lightweight gift. “It’s the 50th anniversary edition of  _ The Sound of Music _ ,” he smiled. “With the documentary on the making and everything.” He leaned over to kiss Jack, and Jack pulled him close for a huge hug. “Thank you. It’s perfect.” They stayed that way for several minutes, their breathing slow and in synch. “So, what about that last package?” Ianto asked finally.  

“It’s probably nothing,” Jack said. 

“Then open it.” Ianto had seen how frightened Jack had been when he had seen it for the first time, and needed to know that everything was alright. “Please.” 

Jack took the package from Ianto’s outstretched hands and opened it. He pulled out a single envelope. Ianto caught a glimpse of the writing on the outside.  _ Open when you're alone _ , it read. “Ianto, I have to…”

“I saw. Go ahead.” Ianto nodded reassuringly and Jack stood up and walked into the bedroom, sliding the envelope open. Ianto sat and waited anxiously. But when a little gasping sob came from the other room, he drew the line and went to Jack. Jack was sitting on the edge of the bed, folding up the piece of paper as soon as he saw Ianto, but he couldn't hide the look on his face and the tears in his eyes. 

“Ianto.” Jack reached for his hand and made him sit down. Ianto’s heart was pounding. He didn't know what he was expecting, but he knew it wasn't good news. “I...I have to leave.” 

Ianto suddenly felt quite ill. “Why?” he choked. 

“Do you remember me telling you that I had gotten hurt in the war and that’s why they sent me home?” Jack asked quietly. 

“Of course.”  _ How could I forget something like that?  _

“Well, I was shot, and I was supposed to die. But the doctor who was assigned to my unit and his assistant...they saved me.” Jack pulled Ianto close, holding him to his chest. “And so I owe him my life. And he’s asking for my help now.” 

“With what?” Ianto asked desperately. “What could be so important that you’d have to leave me?” 

“I can’t tell you,” Jack whispered. “I’m so sorry. I’m not allowed to.” 

“I have never asked you…” Ianto took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. “ _ Anything _ . About your time in the war.” His voice was trembling. “Not once have I made you tell me about anything that happened, or anything that you did. But now I have to. What is it about you that your doctor needs that he couldn’t ask anyone else? Why you?” 

Jack stroked Ianto’s back. “I’m scared that if I tell you, you’ll leave me,” he admitted. 

“That will never, ever happen.” That was the one thing that Ianto knew for sure. “Listen to me. Never.” 

Trembling, Jack hid his face in Ianto’s shoulder. “In the war,” he murmured, muffled and quiet, as if making himself less audible would help. “I was part of a special unit. We were...not entirely supposed to exist. But we were in charge of...enhanced interrogation for possible terrorists.”

Ianto nodded slowly. “Okay.” 

“Do you know what that means?” Jack made sure. 

“Yes.” Ianto tightened his hold around Jack. “And it doesn’t change a thing about us. But I’ve seen you have nightmares, even though you always forget them, and if that doctor thinks that he’s going to drag you back into a war because of some favor, well, he can just think again and find someone else.” 

Jack shook his head. “I was the best,” he uttered softly. “He needs  _ me _ .” 

Ianto could feel Jack slipping away from him. “You aren’t going to go, are you?” Jack said nothing. “You aren’t.” 

“I am.” 

“But--” 

“Ianto, please,” Jack begged. “Please, just...don’t argue with me right now. Just...hold me.” 

“I don’t want you to leave,” Ianto murmured, squeezing his arms around Jack’s waist. “But I’ll be here when you get back.” 

Jack suddenly laughed bitterly. “This is the worst fucking Christmas I’ve ever had.” 

“Then let’s make it better,” Ianto said quickly. “When do you have to leave?” 

“I leave tomorrow afternoon.” 

“Why so soon?” Ianto gasped. 

“Saving the world can’t wait.” 

Ianto nodded, not quite sure if Jack was being entirely serious. “Let’s make the most of what we’ve got, then. And you know what we’ve got?” he said, remembering. “We’ve got a white Christmas.” 

Jack smiled slightly. “I did promise you we could go play in the snow.” 

“You did.” Ianto pulled Jack up off the bed, forcing himself to try and be cheerful for Jack’s sake. “Put on something warmer. We could go into the back garden. It’s smaller than the front, but at least there won’t be kids running around and screaming, and we can have some privacy.” 

“Snow sex?” 

Ianto gave him a slightly horrified look. “Jack, that would be bloody freezing.” 

Jack shrugged. “Just a thought.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry i love you goodnight


	8. Chapter 8

Jack bundled up. He made himself stop thinking about the letter, and the war, and the doctor and his assistant. This was his last day with Ianto for what would probably be a long time, and he was going to make it good. He opened the door to their tiny back garden and looked around for Ianto, who had already went out. “Ianto, where…” 

There was a small laugh from behind one of the untrimmed, snow-coated bushes that lined the fence. Jack looked over at where Ianto was hiding warily. The young man popped up, a snowball in his hand. Jack’s eyes widened. 

“Don’t you dare throw that snowba--goddammit!” he yelped as the well aimed missile splattered against his shoulder, spraying cold ice and water all over his exposed neck. “Ahh! That’s freezing.” Ianto was laughing at him, and Jack growled, “That’s it!” He scooped up a ball of snow, packed it quickly, took aim, and threw. Ianto tried to duck, but he wasn’t fast enough and it skated over the top of his head, making him yelp. “Ha! Take that!” Jack called. They chased each other around the garden for a while, throwing snowballs and usually missing but sometimes scoring a really good hit. Then, Jack got a lightly packed snowball that was just a handful of cold powder and tossed it directly into Ianto’s face.

Ianto gasped, looking ridiculous with his face covered in snow. He stuck his tongue out childishly and ran towards Jack, who only had a moment to prepare before they both went toppling to the snow-covered ground. 

“Oof!” Jack grunted. He looked up into Ianto’s sparkling grey-blue eyes. The young man was just staring down at him, memorizing his face, a look of extreme sadness creeping into his eyes. “Ianto?” 

“Yeah. Sorry.” Ianto rolled off him so he was lying on his back in the snow. The clouds that had covered the sky earlier had cleared, and now it was a smooth shade of periwinkle as far as the eye could see. “Do you know what exactly you’ll be doing?” he asked eventually. 

Jack didn’t reply. He didn’t want to reply. He didn’t want Ianto to know precisely what the content of the letter was. “Sort of what I was doing before.” 

Ianto took his hand. “Is it illegal?” 

“Yeah, probably. Is that a problem?” 

“Only if you’re going to get in trouble.” 

Jack laughed humorlessly. “I’m not. The government is the one sanctioning it. For the ‘protection of the masses.’ But that’s all I can tell you.” That’s basically all that the letter could tell him without being a risk to security, anyway. It involved some people all over the world and the group that Jack had been a part of during the war, but that was just about all he knew. And oh, God, he didn’t want to go. Not after he had spent several years trying to forget what he had done. “Can we go back inside? I know I promised as long as you wanted, but…” 

“Of course we can go back inside. I’m starting to get cold, too. Especially because someone splattered my entire face with snow,” Ianto teased half-heartedly. 

“Hey, I’ve got icy water all down my neck,” Jack countered, trying to match Ianto’s attempt at light-heartedness.

Ianto sat up and leaned over Jack, bending down for a kiss. “Let’s go inside, then.”

“Wait!” Jack said, helping Ianto to his feet and standing up at the same time. “Wait.” He placed his right hand just above Ianto’s hip and took Ianto’s right hand in his left. Instinctively, Ianto put his left hand on Jack’s right shoulder.

“Jack, what are you--?” Ianto began, clearly confused. 

“Shh.” Slowly, Jack began swaying them back and forth. After a second, he began singing quietly. “I’m dreaming of a white Christmas, just like the ones I used to know, where the treetops glisten and children listen to hear sleighbells in the snow.” They danced across the snow-covered garden, Jack’s voice smooth and melodious. 

Ianto joined in, baritone to compliment Jack’s tenor. “I’m dreaming of a white Christmas, with every Christmas card I write. May your days be merry and bright!”

“And may all your Christmases be white,” Jack finished, twirling Ianto once and then bringing him back into hold to kiss his lips once. 

“I’m dreaming of a white Christmas,” they continued. “Just like the ones I used to know. Where the treetops glisten and children listen to hear sleighbells in the snow. I’m dreaming of a white Christmas, with every Christmas card I write! May your days be merry and bright, and may all your Christmases--” Ianto was about to finish the refrain, taking a breath to make the last note count, but Jack quickly put a finger to his lips as he continued, his voice soaring higher and louder across the still, white morning. “May all your Christmases, may all your Christmases be white!” Jack hit the last note, holding it clear and vibrato for several seconds, pulling Ianto in for yet another kiss and then brought him closer for a hug. 

“I understand that you have to go, even if I don’t understand why,” Ianto murmured. “But I trust you. And I’ll miss you.” His hands cupped the sides of Jack’s cold face and he looked deeply into Jack’s eyes. Jack almost couldn’t hold his gaze, it was that intense. “Promise me that you will come home,” Ianto demanded. 

Jack wished desperately that he could promise that, and he wished desperately that he could just stay here, but he could do neither, so he just shook his head marginally and held Ianto closer. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again i'm so so sorry <3 ~clare


	9. Chapter 9

Ianto drove him to the airport the next day. They were silent, despite everything that they might want to say to each other. As they were approached by someone who drew Jack away to whisper something in his ear, Ianto heard Jack reply, “Give me a minute.” He walked back over to Ianto, who held out his arms. Jack embraced him like he would never see him again. For all Ianto knew, he might not. 

“Jack,” he said suddenly. “Jack, I love you.” 

“Don’t!” Jack begged. “Please, Ianto, you sound like you’re saying goodbye.” 

“Well, we’ve never said it before,” Ianto said, frustrated. “Jack, we’ve been together for a year and a month, and neither of us had said it once. Please, just…” 

“Mr. Harkness, we have to go,” the person who had spoken to Jack said apologetically. 

“Just a minute.” 

“Now, Mr. Harkness.” 

Jack cast Ianto a desperate look, full of contrition and sorrow. “I have to go,” he whispered. “Goodbye.” 

Ianto’s tears wouldn’t fall from his eyes as he watched Jack go.  _ He couldn’t even say it once _ , he thought bitterly.  _ Not even once _ . 

The drive back was even more difficult than the one than there. Ianto just couldn’t think of the house as home anymore. Not without Jack there. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> more soon i promise, i love you all! <333333 ~clare


	10. Chapter 10

There was no word from Jack for two whole weeks. Ianto realized that he didn’t quite know what to do with himself without Jack anymore, but soon fell back into the routine of waking up, opening up the coffeeshop, working all day, and then falling asleep. Although that, too, was difficult. He had gotten accustomed to not sleeping alone. Then, two weeks later, at nearly midnight, his phone rang. It wasn’t a number he recognized. 

“Hello?” 

“Ianto!” 

“Jack?!” Ianto tightened his grip on the phone, sitting down in one of the chairs around the kitchen table heavily. “What--” 

“Oh my God, Ianto!” 

“Jack, what’s going on?” 

Jack was crying. Ianto could hear it over the speaker, crackling through the phone line, sounding almost like static. “Oh, God, I miss you.” 

“Jack, talk to me,” Ianto said firmly, trying desperately to hold himself together. 

“I finally convinced them to let me call you, let you know that I was okay,” Jack sobbed. 

“Are you?” Ianto asked, unconvinced. 

“I’m fine, now. It’s been a long two weeks--don’t ask me what I’m doing, please.” 

“I won’t. Are you saving the world, though?” 

Jack let out a small laugh through his tears. “Sort of, yeah.” 

“It’s funny,” Ianto told him. “I used to imagine that I’d fall in love with someone who saved the world, a superhero or some such nonsense, and that they’d teach me how to help them and we would fight evil together.” He spoke quickly. He wanted to tell Jack this, but didn’t know how long they would have. “But I’d always imagine, you know, that we’d be fighting crime, or aliens, or some such shit, and that we’d be doing it together. Nothing like this.” 

“Nothing like this,” Jack agreed. “Ianto, I’m going to have to go soon.” 

Ianto’s heart sank. “Okay.” 

“But I’ll try and see if I can get them to let me call you every week, okay?” 

“And how many weeks until you’re home?” 

“I don’t know. I’m sorry.” He sniffed loudly. “Goodbye.” 

“Wait!” But Jack had hung up. Ianto set the phone down on the counter, crying softly, and went to bed. 

Exactly one week later, the phone rang again. Ianto recognized it as the same number as before, though when he had tried to look the number up, he hadn’t found anything about it anywhere. “Jack?” 

“Hey, Ianto.” 

“You sound so tired,” Ianto murmured, concerned. “Are you getting enough sleep?” 

“No,” admitted Jack. “But I’m okay. Just hearing your voice makes me okay.”

Ianto almost smiled. “Well, I’m here.” 

“How are you?” Jack asked. 

“I’m doing alright,” Ianto replied. “I miss you. But I don’t think that the coffeeshop has ever had so many customers. Don’t you even worry about me. What about you?” 

“I think we’re getting closer to me being able to come home, but nobody knows for sure.” There was a slight pause. “Talk to me,” Jack practically begged. “Ianto, it’s so lonely here, please just talk to me.”  

“Okay, okay, shh,” Ianto soothed, worried. “I’m here. Let’s see. I told Rhi and Johnny and the kids that you were away for work and we weren’t sure how long it was going to take, so they aren’t worried. Obviously, I haven’t told them what sort of work, and they haven’t asked, so everything’s fine.” He thought for a second, hearing Jack’s anxious breathing on the other end of the line. “There’ve been increasingly stupid customers who try to order things from the shop. I mean, the menu’s posted about twenty places around the store, you think they could say something that was at least written on the menu,” he babbled. Jack laughed softly. Encouraged, Ianto went on, sharing customer stories that were certainly exaggerated if not entirely made up. 

“Thank you,” Jack said sincerely, after several minutes. “I have to go.” 

“Call me again next week, if you can.” 

“I’ll try my hardest.” Jack hung up. 

But Jack didn’t call the next week, or the week after that. Ianto started to get extremely worried. He needed to know that Jack was safe, but there was absolutely nobody for Ianto to look for to ask about him. He tried calling the number that Jack had phoned from himself, but it immediately beeped and a smooth, machine generated voice said, “This number is not in service. For more options, press--” 

“Fuck,” Ianto muttered. Another week went by, still no word from Jack. Every time the phone rang, Ianto would grab it and look desperately at the number, but it was always either a friend, Rhiannon, or a sales call. Eventually, he stopped answering the phone altogether and just went to work and came home, driving himself mad with worry and fear. He knew that Rhi was getting worried about him, as her calls were getting more and more frequent, trying to get him to talk to her. But Ianto never answered. He began to think about what would happen if Jack never came home. Would Ianto ever be able to move on? Would he ever learn what Jack had been doing all this time? It seemed as if the answer to both questions would be no.

 

Three months had passed from when Jack had left. Ianto was beginning to give up hope when the phone rang. It was a number he did not recognize. Thinking it to be another stupid sales call, he didn’t even move and let it go to voicemail. 

_ “Ianto…”  _

Ianto froze.  _ It couldn’t be _ .

_ “Ianto, when you get this message, I...I need help.”  _

It was, though. Ianto scrambled to grab the phone and, hands shaking, pressed talk. “Jack?” he cried, unable to believe it. 

“Ianto! Oh, my God, you’re there.” 

“Jack, why the fuck haven’t you been calling?!” Ianto shouted. 

“I’m so sorry--” 

“Do you have any idea how worried--” Ianto broke off, taking a deep breath. “You said you need help. What’s wrong? What can I do?” 

Ianto could tell that Jack was holding back tears from how choked up his voice sounded. “I’m...I was in a bit of trouble, Ianto. A lot’s been happening, a…” His voice was trembling so much that Ianto could barely understand him. 

“Shh, calm down, cariad. It’s going to be alright.” 

Jack took a deep breath. It crackled over the phone. “I’m in Wales, but I’m not sure where.” 

“What?!” Ianto exclaimed.  _ So close?  _ “How are you calling me?” 

“There was a pay phone,” Jack explained, “a really old one, on the side of the road. “They brought me as close as they could to home before they had to leave.” 

“They?” 

“Doesn’t matter. Ianto, please, I need your help.” 

“Anything,” Ianto told him. 

“Can you figure out where this phone is and come and get me?” requested Jack. 

“Of course I can, anything. Are you okay?” 

“No,” Jack told him. “Hurry?” 

Ianto ran over to his laptop and searched for the phone number. “I’ve got you,” he said. “I’m on my way, do you have enough money to stay on the line?” 

“For about another ten minutes.” 

“I can get there in fifty if I break a lot of speed limits,” Ianto told him. 

“Don’t hurt yourself,” Jack said. 

“Don’t worry about me. Are you hurt?” Ianto was getting into his car, having printed out directions to the pay phone, way off in the middle of nowhere of the Welsh countryside, where nobody lived except for a couple of sheep. 

“Not really, I just...I just really need to be home.” 

“Okay, I can get to the pay phone, will you be right there?” 

“I can do that. Thank you, Ianto.” 

“You are so, so welcome, Jack. I’m going to have to hang up now so I can drive, are you alright?” 

“Yes.” 

“I’ll see you in fifty minutes.” Ianto pressed end call. 

 

Jack was shivering. A mid-April night in Wales was not a warm time and place to be, and he sank down to the ground after hanging the payphone back up in its little box. He wrapped his arms around himself. He was only wearing a thin t-shirt and a pair of jeans that they had given him after-- _ No, nope, don’t think about that. Ianto’s coming, that’s all that matters.  _

He waited and waited for Ianto. It felt like hours, though he wasn’t quite sure how to measure time anymore since the past two and a half months felt like a whole year. A couple of cars passed by without stopping, and his hopes were raised each time, only to fall miserably. A couple of tears traced their way down his cheeks. 

Then, a car did stop. Jack looked up, recognizing Ianto’s small silver car, and heard a door slam. “Ianto!” he called out. 

Someone was running towards him in the moonlight. Jack would have stood up, but he just couldn’t find the energy, and then Ianto was there, dropping to his knees next to Jack and pulling him into his arms desperately, and Jack hadn’t been hugged in three months and he couldn’t stop himself from sobbing a little. “Hey, hey, Jack, shh, come here,” Ianto was saying, helping Jack to his feet. “Oh, my God, you’re freezing, come here.” 

Ianto led him to the car and Jack climbed into the passenger seat. It was warm already, and Ianto turned the car around to take them both back home. Jack reached across the middle between the two front seats, desperate to keep physical contact with Ianto, and rested his hand on Ianto’s leg. 

“What happened, Jack?” Ianto asked. 

Jack shook his head. He couldn’t answer that, not yet. “I’ll be okay,” he said eventually. “I just...I just want to be home right now.” 

“Okay,” Ianto murmured. “Well, I’m right here, but it’ll be a little while before we’re home, okay?” 

_ But you are my home _ , Jack wanted to say, but didn’t. He was exhausted, and he closed his eyes. When later he felt a light touch on his arm, he flinched and woke up. 

“Hey, it’s okay,” Ianto said softly. “We’re home, Jack.” Clutching Ianto’s hand tightly, Jack went inside. Ianto turned on the lights and pointed Jack to the couch, where he curled up at one end as Ianto got him a blanket. “Here. I’ll make you a cup of tea.” 

“No,” Jack protested. “Just sit here with me.” 

“If that’s all you need,” Ianto agreed readily. He sat down right next to Jack and got underneath the blanket with him and folded him into his arms. “God, you’re skinny!” Ianto exclaimed, shocked. “Jack, what the hell happened?” 

Jack put his head down on Ianto’s shoulder, and the younger man ran his fingers through Jack’s mussed-up, neglected hair. Jack closed his eyes for a moment, enjoying the gentle touch. Then, “Here,” he said by way of a reply to Ianto’s question. He brought his arm out from underneath the blanket so that Ianto could see it in full light. 

Ianto gasped softly as Jack glanced away so he didn’t have to see his expression in response to the pale mess of halfway healed cuts on his skin. “Jack,” Ianto whispered. 

“There’s more, but…” Jack couldn’t look Ianto in the eye as Ianto lifted the edge of Jack’s t-shirt up, eliciting another gasp. 

“Does it hurt?” Ianto asked once he could find any words to say. 

“Not much anymore.” But Jack shied away slightly as Ianto put his hand on the injuries on his back. Ianto’s touch disappeared instantly. 

“I’m sorry!” 

“No, it’s okay.” Jack tugged his t-shirt down all the same, but collapsed back into Ianto’s arms. Ianto held him even more tenderly than before. 

“Tell me what happened.” 

 

“I can’t tell you where I was, because I don’t even know,” Jack began. “And I can’t tell you who I was with, because they made me swear not to tell anyone, including you.”

“That’s fine,” Ianto reassured him. “Just explain to me why you look like someone used you as a knife sharpener.” He was angry, incredibly angry at whoever did so for hurting his Jack like that. 

“Well, someone else decided that we had the information that they needed,” Jack said simply. “And I was the only one that they managed to get.” 

“Shit.” Ianto resumed stroking Jack’s hair, hoping he was providing a little comfort. “And how did you end up in the middle of the Welsh countryside?” 

“I got rescued,” Jack answered. “They came as quickly as they could, but...it was a long two months.” 

Ianto froze. “Hang on, are you safe now? Will they come looking for you?” 

“We’re safe,” Jack hastened to say. “It’s all taken care of. Believe me, if I thought there was any chance that I would lead them to you,  I’d be on the other side of the planet.” 

“I’m so glad you’re not,” murmured Ianto. “I’m so glad you’re right here, in my arms, where I can see you and touch you and make sure you’re safe.” There was one more thing that Ianto wanted to know, but he wasn’t sure how to ask it, or if it was a question that needed to wait until Jack was a bit better. “Jack,” he started quietly. “Just one thing. It doesn’t make any difference to anything, and you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to. But did you tell them? What they wanted to know?” 

Jack stiffened, undoing all of the work that had gone into Ianto’s gentle touch that made him start to relax. “I did not,” he answered. “If I had, I’d be dead.” 

Ianto shivered. He rubbed his fingertips over Jack’s arm, lightly so as not to risk hurting him. “I’m proud of you.” Jack said nothing. “I’m so glad you’re here right now, Jack. I missed you so much.” 

“Not as much as I missed you.” 

“Well, I am rather amazing,” Ianto teased gently. 

“I know you are,” Jack sighed. “I should never have left.” 

“Hey,” Ianto said, “it wasn’t your fault. What would have happened if you had said no?” 

Jack thought for a second. “They probably would have made me go, anyway,” he admitted. 

“Exactly.” Ianto grew still, deep in thought, until Jack made a soft noise of discontent and shrugged his shoulder up towards Ianto’s hand as if asking him to continue the caressing. “Oh, sorry. Was that helping?” apologized Ianto, starting again. Jack settled down once more. 

“What do you think?” Jack mumbled. 

_ Stupid question _ . Ianto thought about the fact that Jack probably hadn’t felt a kind touch since he left, and his heart went out to the man lying across his lap. “Well, I won’t stop, then.” 

“Don’t.” Jack’s breathing gradually became slow and even, falling asleep under Ianto’s calming hands. Eventually, Ianto, too began drifting off, not bothering to make any attempt to bring Jack to the bed. 

He awoke some time later to a whimper. It took him a second to remember everything that had happened as he looked down at Jack. The man was crying out softly and beginning to toss and turn. Ianto wrapped his arms around him before he could fall off the couch. “Jack, wake up.” 

“No, n-no!” Jack pleaded. “No, please!”

“Shh, Jack, wake up.” Distressed, Ianto shook him gently. He had seen Jack have nightmares before, and this wasn’t like the single cry and then waking up, panting, that had happened all of the other times.  _ This really wasn’t what I was expecting when I went on a date with a man who came into my coffeeshop _ , he thought.  _ But I don’t care.  _

Jack screamed. Ianto held him tightly. “Ianto!” cried Jack. 

“I’m right here, Jack, wake up!” Ianto called, but Jack screamed again. Frightened, Ianto stood up, holding Jack’s hands still because he was moving so much and so violently that Ianto feared he would hurt himself. “Jack, you’re safe, come on, wake up,” he urged. “Jack!” 

Jack’s eyes flew open, wide, tear-filled, and terrified. He was breathing hard and he tried to push Ianto away, but Ianto wouldn’t budge. 

“Jack, it’s me. Look at me.” Ianto pressed his hand to Jack’s cheek, holding his face still and making him look at him. “That’s it,” he murmured as Jack recognized him. “Shh, you’re fine.” 

“Ianto,” was all that Jack could say. “Ianto.” 

“Shhhh, I’ve got you.” Ianto sat back down and Jack clung to him. “You’re alright, you’re okay, you’re safe,” he repeated. “Just breathe, Jack, try to calm down, okay? And then talk to me.” 

“Okay,” Jack whispered. His face was pressed into Ianto’s neck, and Ianto could feel the wetness of tears against his skin. 

“Can you remember it this time?” Ianto inquired after a few minutes, when Jack seemed to have calmed down a bit. 

“A little. Doesn’t matter anymore, you’re here.” 

“It does matter, but if you don’t want to talk about it, that’s fine,” Ianto made sure he knew.

“Hey, Ianto?” Jack said timidly. 

“I’m here,” Ianto repeated. 

Jack leaned back so he could look Ianto in the eye. “I love you.” 

Ianto’s heart skipped a beat. He had to take a second to process that Jack had actually just said those three words, out loud, to him. “I love you, too.” 

 

“It’ll get better,” Ianto kept saying, and Jack believed him. He just didn’t know how it could. But eventually, although he still had nightmares and panicked sometimes and other things he would rather not think about, it felt like his time with Ianto was just a bigger and more important thing than everything that had happened. And they never hesitated to tell each other “I love you” again. 

Jack hadn’t missed Gwen’s wedding. It was in late August, and he felt very proud as he escorted Ianto to the church, watched the lovely ceremony, and enjoyed the party afterwards. “I’ll be right back,” he told Ianto, and walked out onto the dance floor. A fast song was just ending and a slow one starting. “Mind if I cut in?” he asked Rhys, Gwen’s new husband. 

“Oh, alright then,” Rhys told him. 

“Hi, Jack,” Gwen said, stepping into hold. 

“Congratulations,” Jack told her.

“Thank you,” she said happily. “How are you doing, Jack? We missed you while you were gone, what were you doing?” 

Jack glanced down at his arms, but the faded scars were covered by his suit sleeves. He was glad. “Oh...this and that.” 

“I saw you brought your...partner? with you. He’s quite nice,” Gwen told him. 

“Hands off,” Jack laughed. 

“Oh, no, I wasn’t…” Then she laughed too. “I’m married, now, Jack.” 

“I know, I was there,” Jack teased her. 

“It’ll be your turn soon,” Gwen suggested to him, affecting a slightly superior look. 

Jack shook his head. “I don’t think so.” 

Gwen shrugged. “Oookay.” She gave him a knowing smile.

“What?” he protested. 

She gestured her head to something behind him. He turned his head as Ianto cleared his throat. “May I cut in?” the young man asked. 

“Be my guest,” Gwen told him. 

Jack took Ianto’s hands as Gwen sprang away to dance with Rhys again. He was about so say something, but Ianto just pulled him close. Jack smiled and Ianto led. They were pressed very close together, making room for other people on the dance floor. The music continued playing loudly, but it seemed very quiet in their little bubble. Still. Safe. Just the two of them despite everyone around them. Jack thought back to something he had read once, that being in a room full of people is the loneliest you will ever feel.  _ Not if you’re in a room full of people with someone else _ , he decided, and kissed Ianto softly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I haven't been updating, but to be honest I thought nobody was reading this? So here's a whole bunch. There's one more chapter, I'll put it up in a few days. Thanks for reading! I'd love to know what you thought. Get a drink of water and sleep well tonight, alright? If you're reading this trying to ignore something that's going on in your life, breathe. Everything's gonna be okay. I believe in you. <3 ~Clare


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _well actually 10 months later..._

_ Four Months Later _

Ianto woke slowly to someone stroking their finger down his cheekbone. He opened his eyes to see Jack looking down at him lovingly. “I’d find that a little creepy if I didn’t know you so well,” Ianto murmured. 

Jack blinked and leaned down to touch his nose to Ianto’s. “Merry Christmas,” he said quietly, almost solemnly. 

“It is Christmas,” Ianto agreed. “Happy Christmas, Jack.” His heart rate suddenly shot up as he remembered what he was going to do that evening. 

Jack noticed that something was different. “Ianto? What’s up?” 

“Your face,” Ianto answered. “Move, you’re blocking my view of the perfectly clean white ceiling.” Jack laughed. “That’s more like it.” Ianto sat up, kissing him. Then, he sniffed the air and looked at Jack questioningly. 

“I made breakfast,” Jack informed him. “I think it turned out alright? I left the coffee for you, though.” 

“Jack, I’ve told you not to attempt to use the oven or stove unless I’m there to supervise you,” Ianto chastised. “Great big child that you are.” 

“I’m not a child!” Jack protested, pouting. 

Ianto raised an eyebrow. 

“Whatever,” muttered Jack. 

“And now you’re a moody teenager. Honestly, what’s gotten into you?” 

Jack winked. “You.” 

Ianto sputtered for a moment. “Shove off,” he said finally, pushing Jack away as Jack laughed, obviously proud of himself. “Let’s see if this breakfast is as good as you say it is.” He paused getting out of bed to glance back at Jack and retort, “And not always.” Jack laughed again. 

Surprisingly, Jack had actually made chocolate chip pancakes, and they were actually very tasty. Ianto said so, and Jack, grinning, opened his mouth to say something else, probably not something that Ianto needed to hear over the breakfast table, so he pointed his fork at him threateningly. “No.” 

Jack shrugged. “Okay, if you don’t want to hear all of my incredible wit, that’s your loss.” 

“You mean your incredibly numerous innuendos?” 

“If that’s what you’d like to call it.” Jack shrugged good-naturedly. “Personally, I think more highly of my humor than you obviously do.” 

“Of course you do,” Ianto muttered under his breath. Jack kicked him gently. “Thanks for making breakfast, though.” 

“It’s the least I could do.” Jack’s voice softened. “I know I’ve kept you up the past few nights with my dreams.” 

“That’s fine,” Ianto reassured him. “I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, it’s why I’m here.” 

Jack looked at him affectionately. “I bloody love you.” 

Ianto blushed.  _ Two years later, and he can still make me turn as red as Father Christmas’s suit _ . “I love you, too.” 

Jack stood up abruptly. “Right! I’ll do the dishes. You go sit on the couch, we’re watching another Christmas movie this year.” 

Laughing, Ianto said, “Are you trying to butter me up or get me in a good mood? You never volunteer to do the dishes.” 

Casting a strange look back at Ianto, Jack replied, “Maybe.” 

_ Might as well just do what he wants _ . Ianto thought about the small gift under the tree from him to Jack.  _ Yeah, that’d be good. _ So he sat on the couch and listened to Jack singing Christmas carols until the running tap water stopped and Jack came to sit next to him. 

“Wanna pick the movie, Jones, Ianto Jones?” Jack asked. “I’ve got a collection, as you know.” 

“You aren’t insisting we watch  _ It’s a Wonderful Life _ again?” More seriously, Ianto added, “As long as this Christmas doesn’t see you being taken away from me by a brown package under the tree, I’ll do anything.” 

A strange look in Jack’s eyes made Ianto frown and he was about to ask Jack what was wrong when Jack said brightly, “Let’s go see what movies we have.” 

 

That evening, Jack waited for Ianto next to the Christmas tree, his heart pounding as he held one of the two presents left under the tree. The rest had already been opened, Jack and Ianto mutually deciding to save each other’s for last and wait until after dinner. But now it was time, and Ianto came back from washing the dishes (“My turn, don’t argue”). 

“You first,” Jack said impulsively. He couldn’t tell how he knew that that was the right thing to do, and it didn’t make much sense logically, but something was telling him that doing that would make everything turn out alright. 

Ianto hesitated for a second, holding his present for Jack, which was much smaller than Jack’s to him, up. “Okay,” he said. “Hand it over, then.” Jack did so. “It’s light,” observed Ianto. 

“Just open it.” 

“Alright,” Ianto said mildly. He began to tear through the gift wrap, revealing a brown cardboard box. “Jack…” 

“Open it.” 

Ianto did. “Another cardboard box,” he said dryly. “Just what I’ve always wanted.

“Open it.” 

“Yet another cardboard box--Jack, what’s this all about?” 

“Open it.” Jack was calm now. 

Ianto looked at him, and Jack nodded. Ianto pulled the last cardboard box, about five inches by five inches by four, opened it, and took out a small, bubble-wrapped bundle. 

“Open it,” Jack whispered. 

Fingers trembling, Ianto pulled the tape off the bubble wrap and slipped it off from around the little object. He was silent as he looked at the small, elegant red jewelry box. 

“Open it,” breathed Jack, one last time. Jack could see by Ianto’s face that he knew what was going to be inside, and as Ianto opened the box, Jack rose up onto one knee, reaching out and taking Ianto’s hand that wasn’t holding the box that contained a small, simple, silver ring. He took a deep breath and spoke the words he had rehearsed so often in his mind. “Three boxes, one for each Christmas together, and a ring for all of the ones to come. Ianto Jones, will you marry me?” 

Ianto appeared quite literally speechless. He gazed down at the ring and then up at Jack. He had tears in his eyes. 

“Say something,” Jack implored. 

“It appears,” Ianto said slowly. He slipped his hand from Jack’s grasp and reached for the only package left unwrapped, Jack’s gift. Jack couldn’t believe it as Ianto handed him the small item and nodded at him to open it. Hands shaking, he did. A near identical jewelry case, but blue, sat in his hands. 

“Oh my God.” 

“We had the same idea,” Ianto finished. He reached out and flipped the box open for Jack. A gold ring was placed securely inside. Jack tore his gaze away from the ring as Ianto, too, got on one knee. “Jack Harkness, will you marry me?” 

Jack could hardly breathe. “You answer first,” he whispered. 

Ianto smiled through the tears coursing down his face. “Yes.” 

“Then yes,” Jack replied, letting his own tears fall. “Yes, yes, yes. Of course I will.” Both of them dropped their ring boxes to the ground to embrace each other, throwing their arms around each other tightly. “I love you so much.” 

“I love you.” Ianto kissed him. “I love you, Jack Harkness.” 

“Merry Christmas!” Jack said. 

“Happy Christmas, Jack.” Ianto picked up both of their rings from the ground. “May I?” He slipped the gold ring onto Jack’s finger, and Jack did the same with the silver ring on Ianto’s. 

“You know, last year, I said that it was the worst Christmas I’d ever had,” Jack told him. “But that wasn’t true. No Christmas I spend with you could be the worst. But this one will always be the best.” 

“Don’t rule out the possibility,” Ianto grinned, “that next year could be even better.” 

“Right as always, Ianto Jones. With a little coffee, some music, and a bit of war, anything can happen. Especially at Christmas.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not even gonna try to apologize. Hope y'all enjoyed this. *kickflips away wearing the "10 months with no update after promising a few days sunglasses of shame"* ~Clare

**Author's Note:**

> At one point, this story was on FF. net but I'm moving to here, and transferring the stories I want to keep! To those who have read the beginning of this story but never got the ending, the ending is here. <3


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